Requiem

Tall One just stood up from breakfast and announced, "I'm not a Justin Beiber fan." Thanks. I guess I'll have to send back the CD and poster I got him for Christmas. So, it's going to be one of THOSE days. You know, the surreal, pinch myself to see if I'm less than comatose, take deep breath breaks every, oh, 15 seconds...

A.'s daddy died. He was old with Alzheimer's, it shouldn't have been unexpected...but, it always is. Even if you haven't seen them in years, even if they are disagreeable, absent, or even abusive...parents have a hold that exceeds space, time...and even death. They can reach out from the grave and snag you when you least expect it. It is their final revenge.

A., and all of us that know her, raised a glass of Scotch to Daddy, and wished him god's speed on his journey. Theirs is a story worth telling. I'm not the best one to tell it.You should REALLY hear A. tell it in her southern drawl, with her singular animation! What I can eulogize is Daddy's legacy.

A. is the younger of two sisters born to Daddy and Mamma in hometown, Arkansas. Theirs was a marriage of mutual respect - love - but, mostly convenience. Daddy and Mamma both wanted children, they had an understanding. An understanding that functioned well enough to survive for close to 50 years. A.'s sister appears to be her mother's child...A. was all Daddy's. He taught her to drink Scotch. He showed her what it meant to be a STRONG southern woman...not overwhelmed with convention or appearance. He challenged her to think for herself. And, all this serves her well, as the road she travels is not the easy path.

A. is not a couple. She was married once, inadvisedly it turns out, and the other relationships have never really clicked. I think she may see that as a problem, in the way that most of us long for a special connection, but A. seems to have more than compensated with a system of love and support from friends that have endured from high school and college, and have been gathered throughout her New England home town and travels. Friends that stick closer than "a family"...but, we grieve for what "is not".

A. has talent, passion, courage...all provided, at least in part, by Daddy. She struggles with bipolar disorder, which she manages well with medication and therapy...but, look at all the great creative geniuses...this comes with that territory (and I blame her mother).

A. writes, wonderfully, hysterically, with an intuitive, quirky insight. She's thoughtful AND spontaneous. She's analytical. She reads, everything, and I'm convinced, has a photographic memory...or at least a partial photographic memory...at least she remembers what and who she reads. She knows everything and has been everywhere...but, because of Daddy, she is teacher, not a braggart.

There could be regrets...A. has been estranged from her parents and sister's family for years. I hope not. It is what it is...and always will be. I don't think Daddy has a problem understanding that.

Daddy should be proud of his little "legacy"...I have no doubt he is...I am...and I'm profoundly grateful for the circumstances that brought her into my life.